posted by Vicky at
3:12 AM
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This bilingual blog is for students at Waseda and University of Colorado. 日本語でも英語でも、意見を交換しましょう！
I am an American, but I've been living and working in Tokyo since 1994.
We realize that language teachers and researchers may be interested in this project blog, but to protect the students involved, we ask you to contact us first if you wish to link to this blog site or discuss its contents in a scholarly paper or presentation.
For more information, contact the project teachers:
Hideko Shimizu, University of Boulder at Colorado,<Shimizu@colorado.edu>
Victoria Muehleisen, Waseda University, <vicky@waseda.jp>
14 Comments:
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By
superstar, at 4:15 PM
I think that the social pressure have really come from the mothers and not so much from the fathers side of issues...There is the idea of 教育ママor the educational mama...I think that this pressure exists in America but not to such a degree...The pressure in America is more of a social pressure and that the people who do attend college are in a more accepted circle of people...Divorce may be a problem in Japan and America but I think that Amercia has become to adapted to the idea, mostly due to how common it is, and Japan has the idea of keeping old traditions but trying to modify them to work with the new....My mom has been divorced twice and I think that it had an effect on me that was negative, but I tend to disregard my feelings for it because of how common my situation has become in America...
By
felixthecat, at 1:11 PM
I think that mostly in America children are responsible for the mess that they make, so unlike Japan if they make the mess then they clean it up...
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felixthecat, at 12:09 AM
In the White's book, I was surprised that there was big difference about the ideal father between American and Japanese. Many American youth said that a good father considered his family above his job, but for a good father in Japan the important thing was his job, not his family. One of my friends said that he didn’t see his father for 2 weeks, because his father was too busy with his work, but he never complained about it and he never said that he wanted his father to spend more time with his family. I think this case wasn’t unusual in Japan. What do you think of this situation if your father was like this?
By
tomomi, at 9:57 AM
Wow lots to comment on...I think that many people have different situations but there are many similar situations...As to the social and economic pressure, I think that what White was talking about is very true, in fact I think that those pressures are not something that only children feel. Throughout all American life much emphasis is placed on how much money someone has or what kind of job they have. This does also occur in the classroom setting...Socially I think this occurs mostly due to the way that people in America relate to one another...If they cannot quickly identify the similarities between themselves and the person they are talking to then the conversation quickly ends...This is true all over but I think it may happen more-so, in an extreme manner in America...In America we have what we call "Cliks" which are social communities of people who tend to share the same type of not only views but they have similar approaches towards problems...Dealing with the parents stuff, I think that it is much more common in America to have the friend father...In fact it is much more common for a family with a boy and girl that the Father and Daughter are much closer while the Mother and Son are much closer...We have terms for this in english, "Mama's Boy" and "Daddy's Little Girl"...Both imply that the boy or girl is very close to thier parent of choice and these terms can be sometimes used to make fun of the boy or girl...Also in America the family is the more important idea not the job...I attribute this to the fact that it is more common in America to change jobs and it is more accepted unlike Japan where the job is meant to be kept at all costs, even the family...Doing the chores, usually the older sibling has more competency in comparision to the younger and so more responsibility is laid upon the older sibling...
By
felixthecat, at 10:39 AM
In the book, White says "...taboo [on parent-child discussions of sex] is apparently stronger among American families than in Japan..."
Do you think this is true? I believe this is not, and it is doubtful whether this was true when this book was written.
Also, do you talk to your parents about sex? I never do. And I think majority of Japanese people would say the same thing.
By
Tomohiro, at 12:15 PM
In my family, I am very good friends with both my mom and my dad, but this has really only been the case since I was about 17際. My mom and dad both worked as far back as I can remember, so I spent a lot of time at home by myself, or with my brothers and sister.
All of us were expected to do chores every day -- cleaning rooms, washing dishes, taking garbage out, etc. Boys and girls have to do the same chores, there's no difference. I think that those who've stayed here probably weren't expected to do chores because they were guests, even if they were here for a long time. The family was being nice. ^_^
I feel like divorce is a big problem in America, where last I heard, I think 50% of people who get married get divorce within 4 years, and that scares me. I think too many people are getting married without realizing it takes effort in America. My Dad worked from home for a long time, so he was always around us, so he had to get along with everyone. Maybe in Japan it's okay if the father and mother don't get along that well because he's away so much?
By
Scott, at 11:35 PM
One other thing is that we don't have cram schools in America, or even clubs like you do in Japan. (Most people I knew weren't in clubs, or if they were it only lasted an hour after school, not two or more.) So we don't get to spend as much time away from home working or studying, or doing fun things with friends. We just come home, and it's only family there. I think that's partly why the parent-child relationship is different, because we spend as much time around our parents as we do around anyone else. I wish we'd had so many cool clubs in my schools. Also on Saturdays, we're home all day because we don't have school.
I wonder what Japanese kids would think about having every Saturday off from school?
By
Scott, at 11:40 PM
i can find some interesting things between States and Japan.
Both of countries are increaseing about divorce, and Korea is also increasing. But even if their parents divorced, they still have good relationships each other.
And In states, most of parents don't press to their sons or daugthers about academic study. But in Japan, parents always press to their sons or daughters about academic study for entering high college and better life. They threat it as a successful life.
And as i'm korean, i think Korea is smillar with Japan. i also had a pressure about college from my parents , so i always tried to study hard in high school.
Culture is different, but we have smilliar things. It is so surprised to me and so interesting.
and i wanna ask a question, what do u guys think about pressure of academic study from parents?
By
Ma world, at 9:52 AM
Social and economic pressure is something that first affects the parents and then it effects the children later...it is more an effect on emotional state...so that in turn effects the family more than just a pure pressure to succeed...which does exist but in a minimal way...
By
felixthecat, at 2:15 PM
I think that is an important note...attending college in America, seems to be, more tough that attending college in Japan...and furthermore, graduation is much more strenuous...
By
felixthecat, at 7:44 PM
In response to Ryoko-san, I think for Americans, the social and economic pressure causes pressure for high academics in some cases. There's definitely a push to succeed in life, and become "a somebody," which for some families, means having a high academic standard as well. So I somewhat agree and somewhat disagree with White-- things can't be separated into categories quite that neatly.
By
Vicky, at 1:48 AM
...that last comment by "waseda & colorado" was me, sorry.
By
Li, at 1:50 AM
I think White's book is correct on most parts about family,but examples in the book are a bit extreme and unusual. Such as the mothers killing rival children. This makes it seem like it is a incident that occurs often, but it does not. Examples of american family being closer than japanese families seems correct.
By
Michelle, at 10:29 AM
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